https://youtu.be/meWtz2DY6a0 #ParashatBehukotai #DvarTorah #TorahCommentary

https://youtu.be/dxzeOgHRBu8 A few months ago, someone mentioned the phrase, “Toxic Masculinity”. It seemed an interesting description of “machismo”, “macho”. “Toxic” would obviously be anything that is poisonous. A man, therefore, who is engaging is certain behaviors would be hurting himself and maybe others as well. Perhaps this is because men are bound to a specific series or pattern of behavior that can be personally and socially detrimental. Some people long the days when “men were men and women were women”. What does that mean? Simply that men engaged in masculine behavior and women engaged in feminine behavior. Men were strong and tough; women were gentle, soft and feminine. Men were dominant and women were submissive. Pretty cut and dried. In the olden days in an agricultural society, men and women had specific roles. Women gave birth and were on a higher spiritual plane, so they stayed home with the kids, cooked and cleaned, and lit the Shabbat candles. Men went out to the fields or pastures to labor all day and win the bread. On Shabbat, men went and prayed all day because they were brutes and needed all those extra commandments to keep them focused. They wore tzitzis to remind them of those commandments and to keep their masculine urges at bay. Then came equal rights. First was women’s suffrage, then work and career, then bursting the glass ceiling and now equal pay. Women want to be doctors, lawyers, captains of industry, combat soldiers, body builders (with lots of defined and bulging muscles) and MMA fighters. Where that does that leave men? What has happened to that distinction that made men men. In the modern day when we now have more choices with our lives, women are pushing to fulfill themselves outside the home. They were now competing with men in men’s field. They already had the freedom of emotional expression and now were involved highly competitive careers. They have it all. Part of the point of toxic masculinity is the expression of feelings that women can have, and men can’t. Women express their feelings very freely; men are stoic. Crying is seen as giving in to the pain, almost a sign of weakness. For women, it’s a tactical release. Men tough it out because they’re, well, men. Men don’t give in to piddly emotions, we are strong and do whatever it takes. We know what happens with other kids at grade school when a male child shows emotion or fear or, heaven forbid, cry. That’s all well and good, but this toxic masculinity seems to describe a situation in which men hold it in, don’t express their pain, and then it builds and builds and builds and next thing you know, you have an irate temper tantrum. So expressing feelings is good, right? What does the Torah say? Yes, it talks about men and women not wearing each other’s clothes. For some, that is a metaphor that each gender has their own role, G-d made everything masculine and feminine and we don’t mess with G-d’s intention. Or does it? Does that mean that women can’t fulfill themselves in the workplace and academia? Men were losing their gender advantage, and more important and consequential, their dominance and identity and thus felt threatened. How can men feel good about themselves as men if they’re on an equal footing with women? What now makes a man a man, and one of whom he can be proud? All those things that makes a man a man are now also the domain of a woman. Many feel that men need to loosen up. When a man has intense feelings, why not use crying as a release, if appropriate? After all, the Torah has examples of people coming together after extended periods of time, like Jacob and Esau, and crying. So stoicism, at least in the Torah, doesn’t make a man less of a man. In fact, it’s very culturally appropriate. This is merely one example. While the Torah talks about our ancestors and how they expressed themselves fully, the men were still men. Jacob, with his emotional displays and releases, still supported four wives and thirteen children and was the “Israel” after whom we are called. The real implications all of those characteristics of a man are tied to—you guessed it—self-esteem. I will tell you that I’ve experienced some of that myself. Years ago, a friend was training me in martial arts. It was his turn to roundhouse kick the pad that I held up. I was holding it too close and he kicked the pad into my face. So I just got ready for his next kick with my face red and eyes tearing from the blow, smiling the whole time. He stopped, of course, to make sure I was all right and then gave me a moment to recover. Toxic masculinity. We men have to learn to appreciate ourselves. If we want to express feelings, like cry over frustration or hurt, we do it. And nobody is going to tell us otherwise because we can still be strong and have that release as a catharsis, and then go on and deal with the issues. That doesn’t make us any less of a man. “Real men don’t eat quiche”? Hey, real men eat whatever the heck they want! #FridayNightSermon #ToxicMasculity

https://www.timesofisrael.com/where-do-top-2020-democratic-hopefuls-stand-on-israel/

https://youtu.be/HKrSTPBAiUc #ParashatBehar #DvarTorah #TorahCommentary

https://youtu.be/HNSiDipjG8c Services at Congregation B'nai Chaim, 29500 Via Princessa, Murrieta, CA 92563: Ma'ariv Services Family Services, Friday evening, May 17, Pot Luck @ 6:00pm, Services @ 7pm. (Last Family Services of the school year) Shachrit Services Saturday morning, May 18 @ 9:30am Parshas Emor / פרשת אמור Kiddish luncheon hosted by Sherry Reiter & Elana Chalfant in honor of their fathers. Shabbat Services the following week: Services for B’nai Chaim will be canceled this weekend as Havurim will be using our sanctuary for a Bar Mitzvah Ma'ariv Services Friday evening, May 24 @ 7pm. Shachrit Services Saturday morning, May 25 @ 9:30am Parshas Behar / פרשת בהר #ParashatEmor #DvarTorah #TorahCommentary

https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/17860421761386848/ Eva Based on a true story In memory of the 6 million Jews murdered in the Holocaust FEB 13 HIGHLIGHT = START OF STORY In case the above link doesn't work: https://www.instagram.com/eva.stories/ #EvasStory

https://youtu.be/AvMLW9ljxrA #ParashatKedoshim #DvarTorah #TorahCommentary

https://youtu.be/bqk0e262TPQ Unfortunately, here we are again, six months to the day, another tragedy. Another shooting in a synagogue. Some may be tempted to say that at least this tragedy had less causalities than the previous one, but any casualty is a tragedy. What’s worse is that this follows similar horrific events at first a mosque, then a bunch of churches in different parts of the world. And now we have yet another incident at a college back in North Carolina. Anti-Semitism has been rising over the last ten years according to the Anti-Defamation League of B’nai Brith. Hatred of Jews has come from out of the fringes into the mainstream. Many are excusing it by couching it with rationalizations that their disdain is merely for the politics of our homeland. There are even Jews who support the ideologies of some of these so-called progressives in their criticisms. With this overt antagonism against us Jews, is it any wonder that this politically correct form of bigotry has been gaining momentum? Some of our modern sages have said that anti-Semitism is not the end, it’s just the beginning of bigotry against other groups. As we’ve seen rise in anti-Semitic incidents, we’ve seen more and more attacks against other groups. We’ve seen groups go after Muslims, and then Muslim extremists attack Christians on their holiest day of the year. Violence is on the rise. Solutions are being proposed. The first of the two main ones involve curtailing or even eliminating certain types of guns. Some go so far as to want to ban all private gun ownership, that less guns would mean less violence. Those favoring gun ownership are quick to proclaim that guns don’t kill people, people kill people. They also say that the answer is not less guns, but more; citizens should be armed to confront armed attackers and that is the only way to protect ourselves, to meet force with greater force. The second main argument is that we need better mental health. We need to identify and help those who are troubled. The problem with that, however, is that many of these people do not have a history of mental health issues, so how do we isolate them? In fact, the shooter in Poway used to go to church with his family on Sundays and no one had a clue. Some propose closer monitoring of social media for clues, especially certain websites that encourage bigotry. This closer control, however, may lead to more government oversight which means more restrictive access to media which some will proclaim leads us on a slippery slope to tyranny and dictatorship. Still others feel that some freedom in exchange for safety is worth the cost. This is all very pessimistic and discouraging. Is there a solution? If so, what and how? How about if we go back to that manual for living, our great book, the Torah? Let us learn from our sages. Our sages were great people who had respect for G-d, yes, but also had respect for other people. They knew how to treat people, but they also knew how to deal with adversity. Abraham Aveinu and Sarah Emanu usually had their tents open on all sides so that they could welcome travelers. This, by the way, is the prototype and one of the reasons why we get married under a Hupah. They would welcome strangers even in a world of rampant xenophobia. And when he was informed that Sodom and Gemorrah would be destroyed, he pleaded with Hashem on their behalf for mercy. Moshe Rabbeinu had to endure the complaints of the Israelites who were the benefactors of G-d’s hospitality in the wilderness, and yet pleaded on their behalf after G-d said He was going to destroy them after the Golden Calf incident. Aaron the High Priest, when he wasn’t officiating at the Tabernacle would seek out bickering Israelites and make peace between them, telling each that the other was upset that they were no longer friends. And what did Hillel tell a potential proselyte was the essence of Torah? Simply that what is hateful to yourself, don’t do to others. Yet with all their kindness and respect, these people acted to defend themselves when the need arose. Abraham raised an army to rescue Lot and his family who were caught in a tribal war. Moses sent out men to make quick work of the Amelekites after they attacked the women and children. The key is to respect people, to let them know that they matter. And our Torah has no shortage of commandments in that effort. We are commanded—commanded!—to love our neighbors as ourselves, love the stranger and make them welcome. We are commanded to help our brother who’s stuck even if we don’t like them, and in fact, we help someone we don’t like first before helping our friends. On Yom Kippur before G-d forgives us, we have to go out and make peace with those whom we, ourselves, have wronged. It would seem logical that we need to apply these principals in our daily lives. Maybe if some of these attackers had felt some compassion from others, they wouldn’t have felt the need to seek solace and friendship through these extreme groups. It has been said that as Jews we are a nation of priests. We have to set an example. We need to embrace these commandments and live their precepts. You see a new person at school or work, introduce yourself and to your friends and make them welcome. Smile at people more. Do what the bumper sticker says and practice random acts of kindness. One of the speakers at the community Holocaust Memorial made a profound point. She said that Hitler was one person and started World War II. Her goals was to be one person who created peace. What if we all set that as our goal? King Solomon, in his book of Proverbs stated: “Who is strong? One who controls their passions”. We need to control our passions. Take a deep breath, count to three, and remember that, as the Torah states very often, words matter and can hurt. If we all practice Judaism, we can make a difference. It can make the difference between an attack or no attack. Who knows? Be that change agent today. #FridayNightSermon #StandwithPoway #StandUpagainstAntiSemitism #StandUpforShabbat

https://vimeo.com/309023408/d19f27b56f #YomHashoa #RemembertheHolocaust

https://youtu.be/9PV538VXLjg #ParashatAchereiMot #ParashasAcherei #TorahPortion #DvarTorah

https://youtu.be/oXuGX6HYtF4 This week’s Torah portion for Shabbat is the second Passover/Shabbat portion. Since Pesach is eight days, when it starts on Shabbat, there are two special parashats. One would naturally expect that each portion has some application to the festival. Interestingly enough, on the surface, it does not. This week’s special Torah portion comes from the book of Deuteronomy. It starts off discussing the various tithes that will be required of all the Israelites once they settle in the Promised Land, and then reviews the various pilgrimage festivals. Since Passover is one of the times when the Israelites would travel to the Temple (along with Shevuot and Succot), this would seem to be the connection. What about the idea of tithing, that is, taxing each year to support those in society that are of much lesser means? How does that relate to Passover? What prompted the sages to connect the two? First of all, consider that Judaism is a philosophy of philanthropy and humanism. Our Torah is replete with commandments and examples to be generous and magnanimous. Our greatest prophets were not high and mighty people but humble servants. Abraham was the greatest of our sages and had a very intimate relationship with Hashem. He would sit by the entrance of his tent and wait for travelers for whom he could host. The situation in which he entertained the three angels of G-d was while he was recovering from circumcision. He then pleaded for mercy for the residents of Sodom and Gemorrah who were notorious Xenophobes. Moshe Rabbeinu as well looked to serve others. Perhaps his finest hour was when he pleaded for mercy after the Israelites broke their covenant with G-d and fashioned a Golden Calf. There is also a passage in the Torah which mentions Aaron and the Elders of Israel. Moses is left out. Why? Because he was busy playing host and serving everybody. Consider our commandments that implore us to be kind to the stranger, help our brother/neighbor, and never to take revenge. These are almost natural tendencies that we, as humans, have. But Hashem knows this and devised the Torah to have us focus on the positive in order to grow and have the positive come out. So here are the Israelites, having just come from a life of bondage into the promised land where they will be free. They will be able to worship Hashem and live a life of sanctification. They will be influenced to live those commandments and focus on the positive. The promised land is holy, and we are to be holy to inhabit Hashem’s land. In order to do that, we have to grow and be the best people we can be. But we also have to use the last 210 years of bondage as our reference for what not to do. This portion of the Torah was chosen because in order to inhabit the holy land, we ourselves must be holy. The rest of this portion for Shabbat goes over the various holidays and festivals that occur over the course of a year. Rabbi Dr. Hertz, who edited our Chumash, has stated that the Jewish year is one big program. We don’t just live our lives, but we live them with a purpose. Our lives are dedicated to serving Hashem. Why? So that we live a righteous life. And what does that do for us? It keeps our focus on what’s important. Much of that is giving thanks. We have holidays and festivals, as you’ve probably noticed, that seem to have two components. The first is celebrating the bounty of that time of year. In the spring we are grateful for the first fruits, like the barley harvest (ie, the Omer) and in the fall we are thankful for the rest of the harvest (ie Sukkot). Respectively, we also thankful for the giving and receiving of Torah, and G-d’s protection. In the Spring, we also celebrate our freedom, and in the Fall we acknowledge our weaknesses and make a commitment to do better the next year. #FridayNightSermon #FridaysSermon #TheHumanityofJudaism

https://youtu.be/TWqQz7WkpnE