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https://youtu.be/zcgr0ieyvcE There has been a decline in attendance and membership in synagogues. To paraphrase Bob Dylan: “And we would not feel so alone…” that everybody is experiencing a decline in attendance. It seems to be a social phenomenon that people are avoiding traditional houses of worship. There are, however, exceptions. Someone recently cited Pew Research that Evangelical Christians and Megachurches are experiencing prosperity. In Judaism, it’s like a barbell: the Orthodox movement is growing, ostensibly because, perhaps, people seek out religion for guidance, and traditional Judaism is very specific. The Reformed movement is growing because they tend to be very progressive and well, more permissive. Conservative Judaism was the major movement in Judaism a few generations ago. It represented the middle of the road, in which the halacha wasn’t that intense and still allowed to adapt to modern times. Now, they say it’s dying. Why? (No idea what’s going on in Islam and their houses of worship). Let’s stop for a little survey. What is the difference between spirituality and religion? The point will be clear in a few minutes…. …. Tough question, right? Let’s try a working definition of each term. Spirituality is that part of us that seeks to identify and understand things that are beyond our level of reasoning. Spirituality is that belief that there is a greater force, mostly good, that controls and accounts for how our lives proceed and progress, and what forces interact with us, and how they will turn out. It acknowledges, typically, some higher power or Being, either G-d or Nature, or what-have-you. Religion, then, is the format and venue in which people can express that spirituality. It is all the rituals and rites and processes that help us connect with this Higher Power in as real a way as possible. It is the vehicle that will help us connect to the greater forces that guide the flow of the Universe. People seek out religion for the spirituality. Consider that most people want spirituality in their lives and that’s why they go to, in our case, synagogue. They want to know that their lives mean something and that in the challenges they face, there is an ultimate good that will come out of that. People want to know that when they do attend services and recite prayers and perform our rituals (Torah, bread, candles, wine), that their lives will be that much better. This week’s portion in “Nasso”. A major part of the portion talks about how the princes of each tribe (“Nasim”) all brought items and animals for use in the Tabernacle, and by the Priests (Cohanim) and the Ministers (Levites). What’s remarkable about this is that they all brought the same items and without really being asked. They were more than happy to contribute to this new budding institution of what became Judaism. By contrast today, people are hesitant to contribute to synagogues and many are struggling. The difference? Those people were surrounded by the Shechinah of G-d’s presence. They saw the manna and water that sustained them and the pillars of fire and clouds that protected them. They witnessed the birth of the Ten Commandments. The rituals and ceremonies made sense and they could all relate to it. Even though we pray three times a day that we’re thankful for G-d’s miracles each day, it’s as off we’re talking ourselves into believing that. Today, the closest thing we see to a miracle is finding a parking space close to door of the doctor’s office. We’re so involved in our struggles, it’s tough, almost hypocritical to stop and give thanks. And yet, there are indeed things for which we can be thankful every day. Here we are three thousand years later, and Judaism still exists. We have the holy land back in our possession and we are thriving. Individually, we still wake up in the morning and can get out of bed and go about our daily business. If you have issues considering that a miracle, ask someone who’s had hip problems or some diseases or is old and has trouble standing on their own two feet! Most of us have our five senses and even people who are handicapped have resources available to help them thrive despite those challenges. So where does that leave us? How does our synagogue promote spirituality? We need to go beyond just the words and the chanting and see what messages these Torah portions and our prayers have for us. We need to delve into what we are truly saying, and then consider the answers. Religion needs to be spiritually relevant. This is really the question that we want to answer. Ultimately the rituals and performances are there to imbue spirituality. It’s up to us to be receptive. #FridayNightSermon #SpiritualityvsReligion

https://youtu.be/ZUg3VsWjQ2g Recently, someone posted a video on Facebook, the social media site, of an avowed atheist confronting a religious leader. The atheist was very adamant that either that was no God, or if there was, then He is evil. Among his points were little children who are born with cancer or who had to deal with other things, and just what did they do to deserve this? He also cited the various tragedies that occur in the world: disease, pestilence and war. The video was only of him talking and it left unclear whether the other person, the religious leader, had responded to his accusations. This is a very salient point and many people struggle with this. They either lose faith in G-d or struggle to come to terms with “G-d’s purpose” when tragedy does strike. Many people will have a tragedy strike, pray to G-d, and then lose all faith when the tragedy occurs. To this question, some people respond that yes, G-d answers all prayers, but sometimes the answer is “no”. This is a valid point. If religion can’t answer or at least address this issue, we may wonder why we are religious. What is the point of praying if G-d doesn’t answer our prayers? Judaism does address this conflict. First of all, mankind did live in a paradise where there was no disease, famine or misery. Every need was met. Mankind interacted with nature, his and her environment, in a positive, productive manner. It was called the Garden of Eden, “Gan Edan”. When given the option, Adam and Eve chose to eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge and gained free will. This may explain why HaShem told them the fruit was off limits. Yet there it stood, in the garden, available. In effect, Adam and Eve, our ancestors and the model of humans, may the conscious decision to gain knowledge of good and evil and give up their innocence. Why do wars happen? Because mankind choses to engage in war. He doesn’t have to; he has free will. We all have differences, why not just talk them out? Or flip a card; toss a coin; play a sport, two out three, winner take all. Or compromise. While man is asking, “How could G-d let this happen?”, maybe G-d is asking, “Hey humankind, how can you let this happen? I gave you a world and look what you did?” What about the infant or child that is born with cancer? Or maimed? Or addicted? How do we explain that? The Rabbi’s addressed that issue in the Talmud, in the tractate of “Berachot”. There are reasons why bad things happen to good people. First of all, sometimes we need a jolt to set us on the correct path. Take, for example, someone who doesn’t exercise, eats fatty foods and junk foods. Later in life, it’s a good bet that this person will develop adult onset diabetes. He goes to the doctor who puts him on a diet and tells him to develop an exercise routine. The man then loses a lot of weight, feels better, is more productive and happy, and lives a long life. It took a tragedy to set him on the right path. Kabbalah sees actions as sort of a balance sheet. On one side are the good things, on the other side are the bad things. When we have challenges in life, the result depends on which side predominates. That is one of the reasons for doing mitzvoth; you never know when you are going to need the good things. The Talmud also talks about the world to come, and this is also reiterated in the Zohar, the scripture of Kabbalah. There is a story of a righteous rabbi who was quadriplegic. His students felt bad for him, that he was confined to bed and how could he be happy and live a productive life? He responded that he was having his misery now, in life, so that in the World to Come he would be that much ahead of the game. Finally, how do we explain the case of an innocent child born with a debilitating disease or maimed? Judaism believes in transmigration of the soul, or reincarnation. We don’t dwell on it because we focus on the present to build a better future. You’re here, it’s now, deal with it. We are made in G-d’s image. HaShem is not a physical being, so in what image are we made? It would be G-d’s spiritual image. G-d is eternal and immortal; therefore, there would be a part of us, our soul or “neshamah” that is a reflection of the divine and is also immortal. As we move from life to life, we carry “baggage” or unfinished business with it. These lives allow us to resolve these issues, as well as set the stage for the next transmigration (whatever that is) and move to a better place. It is called the “World to Come”. It is the next life, heaven? We don’t know. Yet. Whether we finish this life and move to the next life or advance through the levels of heaven (there are seven) after spending a year in purgatory finishing up some of our issues from the most recent life, we face our challenges as best we can, always pushing ourselves to do and be better. That is on what we need to focus—performing Mitzvot and always pushing ourselves to do better. #Sermon #Whybadthingshappentogoodpeople

https://youtu.be/ELN18NP5wLE #ParashatNasso #DvarTorah #TorahCommentary

https://youtu.be/-w7BOqpXqZM #ParashatBamidbar #TorahCommentary #TorahPortion

https://youtu.be/lOof2RYRpnI This week’s portion is Behukotai and contains the “Tochacha”, or warning. In this discussion, Hashem tells the Israelites that if they do the commandments and what they’re supposed to do according to the word of Hashem, things will be good. If they don’t, then there will be consequences. As usual, the consequences outweigh the rewards. The Admonition, or “Tochacha”, contains three levels of seven warnings. Each of them are progressively worse. This is to give the Israelites the opportunity to return to Hashem and the commandments, what has made our people strong. The prophecy turned out to be true. Our ancestors abandoned our principles and as a result we were conquered and forced to live in exile for the last 1800 years. We were thrust among those that did not only did not believe as we did, but in many cases forced us, or tried to force us, to adopt their beliefs. During that time, we nevertheless clung to our beliefs and survived. This was what the prophecy declared. If we look at the last 1800 years as we struggled among strangers, many of our ancestors clung to our beliefs and religion. Wherever we went, we set up schools and synagogues and continued, as much as we could, to live our culture. We persisted even when death at the hands of foreign governments threatened our very lives. As a result, we now have our land back. And in many ways, we are thriving. We have created an oasis in the desert. Many entrepreneurs have started thriving businesses. We are a democracy in an area that sees almost exclusively repressive regimes. But our civil rights and respect for individual life speaks for itself. Israel is thriving. There are more start-up businesses than just about every other country in the world. As the portion declared, five of us will pursue twenty and twenty will fend off a thousand, so it is. Israel, our land and heritage, has survived and overcome our enemies. We have persisted and thrived and in fact, many of those enemies are now looking to engage with us in commerce and defense. Such is the result of practicing our faith in the face of dire circumstances. However, in our country of the United States, and much of Europe, we are oppressed and persecuted. Many of our fellow Jews are beaten and synagogues are attacked. Attempts by those in our government to declare this to be unacceptable are overturned by those who seek to diminish our struggle and put other issues involved that draw attention away from our plight. Consider that all this has happened as synagogue attendance and membership has hit a low. Yes, according to recent polls, only 30% of Jews belong to, or are involved in their local synagogues. Whereas many areas were thriving with a Jewish population, now they are desolate. Coincidence? That depends on how much credence you give our Torah. If you regard it as mere history, literature, a “fairy tale”, then there’s not much of a resolution. But if you study Torah and look at the times that we have strayed from Hashem’s teachings, it becomes interesting. During times when people either ignored Torah or saw it as trivial, we have suffered. When we’ve favored the customs and culture of our host countries and tried to blend, there was a push back. You would be hard pressed to explain the connection as anything but divine providence. The Tochachah says this. This is our first warning and we need to change. The synagogue is the center of our community in the diaspora. It keeps us together. Strength in numbers. When we live our culture, we take pride in it and who we are. We are proud. We feel confident and strong and this attitude pervades into the perception of other peoples. When we feel a part of our 3500-year tradition, it gives us a confidence and a faith. Others see it. They see that we are strong and will not tolerate oppression. Now this is not a call to arms; in fact, it is anything but. When we connect with Hashem, Hashem will connect with us. Of course, it won’t be perfect, but as history and the Torah has showed us, it will be better. Let’s all make a commitment to express who we are. G-d will be pleased. #FridayNightSermon

https://youtu.be/dxzeOgHRBu8 A few months ago, someone mentioned the phrase, “Toxic Masculinity”. It seemed an interesting description of “machismo”, “macho”. “Toxic” would obviously be anything that is poisonous. A man, therefore, who is engaging is certain behaviors would be hurting himself and maybe others as well. Perhaps this is because men are bound to a specific series or pattern of behavior that can be personally and socially detrimental. Some people long the days when “men were men and women were women”. What does that mean? Simply that men engaged in masculine behavior and women engaged in feminine behavior. Men were strong and tough; women were gentle, soft and feminine. Men were dominant and women were submissive. Pretty cut and dried. In the olden days in an agricultural society, men and women had specific roles. Women gave birth and were on a higher spiritual plane, so they stayed home with the kids, cooked and cleaned, and lit the Shabbat candles. Men went out to the fields or pastures to labor all day and win the bread. On Shabbat, men went and prayed all day because they were brutes and needed all those extra commandments to keep them focused. They wore tzitzis to remind them of those commandments and to keep their masculine urges at bay. Then came equal rights. First was women’s suffrage, then work and career, then bursting the glass ceiling and now equal pay. Women want to be doctors, lawyers, captains of industry, combat soldiers, body builders (with lots of defined and bulging muscles) and MMA fighters. Where that does that leave men? What has happened to that distinction that made men men. In the modern day when we now have more choices with our lives, women are pushing to fulfill themselves outside the home. They were now competing with men in men’s field. They already had the freedom of emotional expression and now were involved highly competitive careers. They have it all. Part of the point of toxic masculinity is the expression of feelings that women can have, and men can’t. Women express their feelings very freely; men are stoic. Crying is seen as giving in to the pain, almost a sign of weakness. For women, it’s a tactical release. Men tough it out because they’re, well, men. Men don’t give in to piddly emotions, we are strong and do whatever it takes. We know what happens with other kids at grade school when a male child shows emotion or fear or, heaven forbid, cry. That’s all well and good, but this toxic masculinity seems to describe a situation in which men hold it in, don’t express their pain, and then it builds and builds and builds and next thing you know, you have an irate temper tantrum. So expressing feelings is good, right? What does the Torah say? Yes, it talks about men and women not wearing each other’s clothes. For some, that is a metaphor that each gender has their own role, G-d made everything masculine and feminine and we don’t mess with G-d’s intention. Or does it? Does that mean that women can’t fulfill themselves in the workplace and academia? Men were losing their gender advantage, and more important and consequential, their dominance and identity and thus felt threatened. How can men feel good about themselves as men if they’re on an equal footing with women? What now makes a man a man, and one of whom he can be proud? All those things that makes a man a man are now also the domain of a woman. Many feel that men need to loosen up. When a man has intense feelings, why not use crying as a release, if appropriate? After all, the Torah has examples of people coming together after extended periods of time, like Jacob and Esau, and crying. So stoicism, at least in the Torah, doesn’t make a man less of a man. In fact, it’s very culturally appropriate. This is merely one example. While the Torah talks about our ancestors and how they expressed themselves fully, the men were still men. Jacob, with his emotional displays and releases, still supported four wives and thirteen children and was the “Israel” after whom we are called. The real implications all of those characteristics of a man are tied to—you guessed it—self-esteem. I will tell you that I’ve experienced some of that myself. Years ago, a friend was training me in martial arts. It was his turn to roundhouse kick the pad that I held up. I was holding it too close and he kicked the pad into my face. So I just got ready for his next kick with my face red and eyes tearing from the blow, smiling the whole time. He stopped, of course, to make sure I was all right and then gave me a moment to recover. Toxic masculinity. We men have to learn to appreciate ourselves. If we want to express feelings, like cry over frustration or hurt, we do it. And nobody is going to tell us otherwise because we can still be strong and have that release as a catharsis, and then go on and deal with the issues. That doesn’t make us any less of a man. “Real men don’t eat quiche”? Hey, real men eat whatever the heck they want!

https://youtu.be/meWtz2DY6a0

https://youtu.be/meWtz2DY6a0 #ParashatBehukotai #DvarTorah #TorahCommentary

https://youtu.be/dxzeOgHRBu8 A few months ago, someone mentioned the phrase, “Toxic Masculinity”. It seemed an interesting description of “machismo”, “macho”. “Toxic” would obviously be anything that is poisonous. A man, therefore, who is engaging is certain behaviors would be hurting himself and maybe others as well. Perhaps this is because men are bound to a specific series or pattern of behavior that can be personally and socially detrimental. Some people long the days when “men were men and women were women”. What does that mean? Simply that men engaged in masculine behavior and women engaged in feminine behavior. Men were strong and tough; women were gentle, soft and feminine. Men were dominant and women were submissive. Pretty cut and dried. In the olden days in an agricultural society, men and women had specific roles. Women gave birth and were on a higher spiritual plane, so they stayed home with the kids, cooked and cleaned, and lit the Shabbat candles. Men went out to the fields or pastures to labor all day and win the bread. On Shabbat, men went and prayed all day because they were brutes and needed all those extra commandments to keep them focused. They wore tzitzis to remind them of those commandments and to keep their masculine urges at bay. Then came equal rights. First was women’s suffrage, then work and career, then bursting the glass ceiling and now equal pay. Women want to be doctors, lawyers, captains of industry, combat soldiers, body builders (with lots of defined and bulging muscles) and MMA fighters. Where that does that leave men? What has happened to that distinction that made men men. In the modern day when we now have more choices with our lives, women are pushing to fulfill themselves outside the home. They were now competing with men in men’s field. They already had the freedom of emotional expression and now were involved highly competitive careers. They have it all. Part of the point of toxic masculinity is the expression of feelings that women can have, and men can’t. Women express their feelings very freely; men are stoic. Crying is seen as giving in to the pain, almost a sign of weakness. For women, it’s a tactical release. Men tough it out because they’re, well, men. Men don’t give in to piddly emotions, we are strong and do whatever it takes. We know what happens with other kids at grade school when a male child shows emotion or fear or, heaven forbid, cry. That’s all well and good, but this toxic masculinity seems to describe a situation in which men hold it in, don’t express their pain, and then it builds and builds and builds and next thing you know, you have an irate temper tantrum. So expressing feelings is good, right? What does the Torah say? Yes, it talks about men and women not wearing each other’s clothes. For some, that is a metaphor that each gender has their own role, G-d made everything masculine and feminine and we don’t mess with G-d’s intention. Or does it? Does that mean that women can’t fulfill themselves in the workplace and academia? Men were losing their gender advantage, and more important and consequential, their dominance and identity and thus felt threatened. How can men feel good about themselves as men if they’re on an equal footing with women? What now makes a man a man, and one of whom he can be proud? All those things that makes a man a man are now also the domain of a woman. Many feel that men need to loosen up. When a man has intense feelings, why not use crying as a release, if appropriate? After all, the Torah has examples of people coming together after extended periods of time, like Jacob and Esau, and crying. So stoicism, at least in the Torah, doesn’t make a man less of a man. In fact, it’s very culturally appropriate. This is merely one example. While the Torah talks about our ancestors and how they expressed themselves fully, the men were still men. Jacob, with his emotional displays and releases, still supported four wives and thirteen children and was the “Israel” after whom we are called. The real implications all of those characteristics of a man are tied to—you guessed it—self-esteem. I will tell you that I’ve experienced some of that myself. Years ago, a friend was training me in martial arts. It was his turn to roundhouse kick the pad that I held up. I was holding it too close and he kicked the pad into my face. So I just got ready for his next kick with my face red and eyes tearing from the blow, smiling the whole time. He stopped, of course, to make sure I was all right and then gave me a moment to recover. Toxic masculinity. We men have to learn to appreciate ourselves. If we want to express feelings, like cry over frustration or hurt, we do it. And nobody is going to tell us otherwise because we can still be strong and have that release as a catharsis, and then go on and deal with the issues. That doesn’t make us any less of a man. “Real men don’t eat quiche”? Hey, real men eat whatever the heck they want! #FridayNightSermon #ToxicMasculity

https://www.timesofisrael.com/where-do-top-2020-democratic-hopefuls-stand-on-israel/

https://youtu.be/HKrSTPBAiUc #ParashatBehar #DvarTorah #TorahCommentary

https://youtu.be/HNSiDipjG8c Services at Congregation B'nai Chaim, 29500 Via Princessa, Murrieta, CA 92563: Ma'ariv Services Family Services, Friday evening, May 17, Pot Luck @ 6:00pm, Services @ 7pm. (Last Family Services of the school year) Shachrit Services Saturday morning, May 18 @ 9:30am Parshas Emor / פרשת אמור Kiddish luncheon hosted by Sherry Reiter & Elana Chalfant in honor of their fathers. Shabbat Services the following week: Services for B’nai Chaim will be canceled this weekend as Havurim will be using our sanctuary for a Bar Mitzvah Ma'ariv Services Friday evening, May 24 @ 7pm. Shachrit Services Saturday morning, May 25 @ 9:30am Parshas Behar / פרשת בהר #ParashatEmor #DvarTorah #TorahCommentary